Imagine a merry band of freaks, well freakish freaks, you there? Yes, you are at the Dog Grooming expo in Hersey, Pennsylvania. Cue the 6:30 alarm. My VICE compatriots and I left our cushy, somewhat shabby digs in favor of higher and weirder ground. After 2+ hours of driving we arrived at the Hersey site. Unable to navigate our way past the gumdrop forest or whatever it was, we asked a super hopped up on sugar park attendant. “Hi, we are looking for the Dog Grooming Expo” we asked in desperation. “Oh for sure!” she replied “just take a left and then a left and under Twizzlers Lane make a right on Choco Alley.” Our tattoo and deeply cynical cameraman huffed “Chocolate Avenue? Where the fuck is that.” We then followed kind Old Man Winter to the appropriate Convention Center and learned what a “dog grooming expo” is all about.